(comment) [30 Apr 2006|03:12pm] [ mood | frustrated ] oh I hate men. They're such inconsiderate jerks, even when they're just "friends". I have 5 meaningless relationships. Every couple of months I get a phone call or and IM from one of these 5 low lifes, and they put on a little facade of how they're so happy to speak to me, and ask if I want to hang out. Of course, being the idiot that I sometimes am, I agree. And on these friendly outings I find out about the hardships that they have been facing with their girlfriends, or girls they like, or whatever. I basically put time and energy into boosting their low self esteem, and telling them the girls side of the story and how she probably cares so much for them and I think that it'll really work out, and I help them say sorry, or help them plan something sweet for the girlfriends. I buy my own meals, buy my own metrocards, and basically just waste money. By the end of the "date" I get something like "oh you're actually more fun to hang out with then my girlfriend" or "wow, it's amazing that we haven't spoken in so long but I feel that it's so easy to connect with you and I can tell you everything so easily" And then we say good bye, and it always ends with "we should definitely do this again" And by again they mean 3-4 months when they hit another bump in their relationship, or feel lonely, or break up. I am not their emotional cheerleader, their little free therapist that actually loses money in this situation. And I feel that's all I am to guys is this "cool girl" my boyfriend doesn't even treat me like I feel a girl should be treated. I pay for everything myself, he isn't affectionate at all, he points out how pretty other girls are. I am NOT a guy.Ugh, I'm just frustrated. but it's obviously something I'm doing that would allow myself to be portrayed that way.

(2 have <3 comment) [28 Apr 2005|02:21pm] I truly hate being sick. I feel like my mind and my body are on two different pages. My mind is saying "Let's keeping going, let's keep moving, no time to stop now" while my body needs to rest and take a breather. For instance, yesterday was the worst I've felt in a very long time, yet I still went to the city with Lisa, despite the sharp pains in my ears and throats pleading with me to stay home. I did manage to get a really cute pair of sunglasses though, but that's besides the point. What really stinks about being sick though is that I'm rarely ever sick, the last time I took off from school for being sick was 3 years ago. Now I'm on vacation, today's my anniversary, it's my birthday weekend and I'm sick as a dog. As my little brother loves to say; "how ironicle?" However, I'm doing everything in my will power to feel better, I'm gargling salt, drinking tons of vitamin water, taking vitamins, taking medicine, sucking on these horrible cough drops, drinking tea, eating soup. I MUST feel better.

(5 have <3 comment) [14 Aug 2004|11:24am] Ugh.. hey guys! I'm sorry I've been falling behind on updates and comments.. but websites aren't working on my computer, im on my friends right now.. please dont take me off.. im going to start going to the library to update and commment. Love You.

(47 have <3 comment) [29 Feb 2004|01:17pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | velvet underground- venus in furs ] Friends Only. Comment and add, and I'll add you right back =)

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